Ssooowwwwweeeee!!!

Hey everyone, I haven’t forgotten you. Just been having issues with my laptop still and although the W8 phone app is awesome, it’a very basic and editing a post is a pain in the ass.  Currently sat on my kindle.  Thank fuck for bluetooth key boards!!!

So an update on me after the page break and if you don’t want to read about my lady issues then I don’t recommend this blog for you!! The lady issues part is in italics so you can just skip over that to the other stuff 🙂

So I’ve been back and forth to my GP for a few weeks now; actually more like two or three months because I’ve been having issues with my lady parts.  I have had swabs and tests and a smear and antibiotics but nothing has shown up, which is kind of yay because there’s nothing wrong however it’s very frustrating because there IS something wrong that we cannot see.  So I am now being referred to have a scan on my uterus and ovaries to find out if I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and/or endometriosis (sorry my spelling sucks and AC has no idea wtf I am on about).  If the scan(s) don’t show anything then apparently it could have something to do with the contraceptive implant but I can’t see how cuz this has been going on since I was 12.my periods have never been regular and when I AM on I get the worst cramps (literally crawl everywhere) and it’s like passing chopped liver.  I cannot go anywhere because I have to be near a toilet and clean underwear and a shower. 

You know that scene in the Shining where the elevator doors open and the blood pours out?? Well yeah that’s pretty much it.  I’m not even joking either which is the terrible thing.  Sneezing a coughing is a gamble and moving anywhere in an upright position is just….. no.  My pelvic floor muscles are fucking amazing cuz when I’m on I am constantly clenching to hold everything in.  Even the highest flow tampon IS NOT ENOUGH. At one point I was using two at a time AND a sanitary towel.  I was told at 15, but a doctor, that I probably had endometriosis but she also said I was “far too young for that!” And that was it.  No scans or tests, no nothing.  It’s taken over ten years for me to finally get scans sorted.

In other news….. I am embracing the noise in my head.  The voices.  With a little help I have come to the conclusion that I am picking up spirits.  They’re talking to me and as long as I don’t concentrate on any one voice it’s literally just white noise.  I now know I am not going crazy and the men in white coats are not going to take me away!!!

I will say the shadow person has disappeared from my sight. However it is still around and I do wake up with scratches and bruises….. I think it is the shadow person.

I had my final session with Olivia at the resource centre.  I gave her a thank you gift and card which made her smile so big.  She says she’s proud of me and I should be proud of myself.  I am,  I have come a long way in the last couple of months and I am so damned grateful for her help.  I think this blog ( and especially this post) shows how far I have come.  I’m not as shy as I was, I am so much more open about myself and my life and if it helps someone else then great.  This isn’t just for me.

I promise I will do a Fibromyalgia update over the weekend, I haven’t done one in a while, I know.  I’m sorry about that.

Until the next post.  Thank you and take care.

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