i know i’ve been quiet for a little while and i do apologize for that and so here is a rant/update/thing and i’m just gonna let my brain wander as i type! so this is just kinda like a brain fart…..
i’ve noticed something over the years since being diagnosed (and even before my diagnosis) that there comes a point in your pain cycle (i’ll explain that in a moment) when you just cannot be bothered to even bathe yourself. i had to literally make myself scrub my face today (i have a routine usually but…..) just so i can maybe wear make up tomorrow to cover up the break out of face demons i am currently trying to exorcise. Other than that however, having a shower or a bath is such hard work….. i have a shower IN a bath, it’s a two in one. so even if i just want a shower i have to climb in and out and use the basin to steady myself….
….and then there’s the standing and stretching and moving and…. don’t even get me started on leg shaving. holy shit; i get half way through the bottom part of my leg and it’s like “who the fuck am i doing this for? I can just throw on jeans or leggings and i’m sorted…” but nooooo i want to show off my legs (fuck knows why)…. it’s a chore. I generally don’t even do it when I go out cuz once again jeans, leggings, long skirts/dresses, high boots. i can cover them up; the hair doesn’t even bother me, it’s not that big of a deal – i think it’s cuz “society” as taught me that women should be hairless. fuck. that. i never understand why (especially in porn) women wan’t to or are made to feel like they have to wax/shave/whatever all the hair off their whoo-haas…. i like some hair. hair is not a bad thing and personally i like to feel comfortable and not ashamed cuz it looks like a ten year old’s cooch (going on my days as a youngster….i actually had hair at ten so…..subjective….) but the point stands. I’ve actually asked around friends (male, female and those in between) and they all agreed that hair is not bad! the key points are a) keep clean and b) keep trimmed. Nobody wants a wild garden and you like to be able to see where you’re going, however getting rid of everything?! Eeesh! And guys…. this goes for you too – keep it clean and keep it trimmed…. it is not supposed to look like a fucking sun dial. okay?
so this moves me on to pain cycle. it’s something i have noted and i don’t know if any other chronic pain sufferers have. This is my pain cycle: 1-3 weeks of medium to low pain, i still have to use a walking aid however i can move easier and i can do a little house work. 2 ish weeks of high pain where sticks are a must, i cant do any house work, i stay in bed and use all the pain relief creams and gels and heat packs and my parents think i’m a cow cuz i can’t do shit even walk downstairs to eat with them. i tend to stay in bed. and when i over exert myself (like when i did the race for life) i have 2-6 days of absolute agony whereupon i cant walk, i crawl and leaving the house is completely out of the question.
I have to work around my pain cycle; i have to be like a borg and adapt to it and if i’m on a high pain day/week then personal hygiene is taken to a minimum. hair can be dry shampooed and tied back. we have a large basin and by the name of all things in the Goddesses kingdom i can wash over myself in that….and who really needs to shave their legs when nobody is gonna see them….?!
so now i have a question for you that’s totally unrelated and i will figure out how to add it as a proper poll.
- Captain Archer (ST: Enterprise)
- Captain Kirk (ST: TOS)
- Captain Picard (ST: TNG)
- Captain Janeway (ST: Voyager)
- Captain Sisko (ST: DS9)
who is your favourite and WHY…. answers in comments please and thank you.