Fuck Cancer

So I may have said some bad things about Kath in the past, and I admit that isn’t fair,  she helps my gran a lot and to be honest I do loves Kath to pieces.

Today we found out that (gran) Kath has bowel cancer.  She had a full body scan last week.  Her doctor said there is a lymph node that looks suspect on Dec 10th she will have an operation, presumably to get rid of that node and any other areas that need to be dealt with.  About a month after we think she will have chemo to stop any other areas from being affected.

What can be said? I’m trying to find words but I just can’t put them in order. this is her third time around.  The first times were breast cancer and now bowel?  What the ever lasting fuck has she done to deserve this?  These are the same questions we asked when mum had cancer.  What does anyone do to deserve it? I know there are people on this planet that DO deserve cancer (and yes, I mean what I say) however they don’t usually get it.  They get off scott free. The only saving grace is that it’s gonnabe dealt with and Kath WILL be okay.  She will get through this.  It has been caught early and can be treated.

We’ve been chain smoking.  I want a drink but it’s not a good idea.  May have one later I know we have jack in the fridge.  Euch. 

Send love, positive healing vibes and prayers her way.  Kath doesn’t know what to say or think.  Gran is doing her usual and…. well it’s like she’s trying to not talk about it so it’s not really there.  Kath sat and said “I don’t know what to say” and gran replied “there’s nothing that can be said….don’t worry”.  I just hugged Kath and told her to say whatever is in her head.  Whatever comes to mind, let it out and verbalise.

I had a really surreal moment when I went to the corner shop to get more cigarettes,  I looked around and everything was carrying on.  Everything was just happening as normal and yet I thought “HOW? How can everything just carry on after got news like that?

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