strong language contained in this blog

an awful lot has been happening over the last 7 days and it’s probably best to start from the beginning.

(life and medical update – this is a LONG one!)

A week ago yesterday (30th August) the person whom i have called my father for my entire life admitted (when faced with evidence) that he had in fact been conducting an affair with a woman who was supposed to be my mum’s best friend, for the last TWO YEARS.

I refuse to change any names so i will use their real names cuz they aren’t innocent and so fuck that; i’m not protecting them.

Michael has been married to my mum Angie for 23 years, they’d been together for 26 and i have always called him my dad; even before they were together.  For the last two years Michael has been having an affair with Michelle – to put it lightly she is the town whore and much like her legs she cant keep her mouth shut.

i received some messages from four different people who actually had the guts to tell me and my mum what was going on once they had twigged as to who Michelle had been talking about.  What gave it away was that she had been telling them that this guy was gonna leave his wife once the IVA was over.  Luckily we have some very good friends (and all who told me shall remain nameless – they ARE innocent and i will NOT have anything come back on them as they don’t deserve it).

some background……  Michelle has been my mum’s “friend” for 30 odd years, probably more and over the last two years she has been in our house pouring out her heart about this “Mick” she was seeing.  we didn’t twig on because she was actually seeing another guy called Mick who leaves up our road (known him for a long time).  Turns out everything she was saying was about the ….person (he isn’t a man or even human) my mum had married all those years ago.

It’s also come to my knowledge that Michelle is still an habitual drug user; weed that we know of, there’s probably a lot of other stuff too considering the circles she moves in and how easily accessible they are to her because of these circles.

We wonder if Michael is taking drugs of some sort because when mum told him to leave after it had all come to light he was void of any emotion or feelings and he has since told mum that he has apparently never been in love with her, when asked how he could be such a cold hearted bastard he replied “i always have been”.

You may be wondering how we didn’t figure all this out sooner…. well Michael used to go out and do night time photography of the stars and the moon etc but over the last two years or so we failed to see any improvement or such and then eventually no photographs.  Turns out he wasn’t taking pictures or if he was they weren’t of the stars.  His brother Simon fucking knew the entire time and never said a word – now he says he doesn’t want to be involved and had the audacity to tell my mum she “should have seen it coming”.

The excuse Michael uses for why he’s done this is because five years ago (he was in with my mum when the doctor told her this), when she was diagnosed with acute angina the doctor told her that the sexual part of her life was over because it could actually kill her.  Michael said he was happy with this, it was fine.

Apparently not. Apparently he couldn’t stop thinking with his dick and turned to the whore.

Mum has a joint IVA claim with him, secured against our house.  Mum has had to give up work because she worked at the same firm and her only transport was Michael. Busses and taxi’s would cost her between £75 and £100 a week so it really wasn’t feasible, especially as there is nobody nearby who could take her in…. even then, when i discussed it with her i did make the point that it would mentally destroy her working in the same firm as him after what he had done.  Luckily the firm she worked for is very understanding and shocked (which is an understatement) and are going to accommodate her going in and getting her stuff.

This still doesn’t help us on the front of the IVA because the moment they realize we can’t pay the IVA, two mortgages, gas, water, electric, council tax and buy food (its about £2000 a month to keep the house ticking over) they’ll take the house because we’ve technically broken our end of the contract.  We have A LOT of forms to fill in and luckily we have a 5 week gap when we can stay at gran’s (that’s the complete maximum that we can stay with her or she looses her pension), hopefully we can get a place to stay within the next two to three months or the IVA people are at least understanding.

To be fair, this place doesn’t feel like home any more…..it’s just a house.  It has far too many memories that are now completely shattered to pieces and need to be tip-ex’d out.   Add to this we have to find between £900 and £1500 for mum to divorce him.

ON TO THE MEDICAL STUFF!

So that’s everything that we’ve been going through (lots of emotional stuff, forms etc) as well as this i’ve had hospital appointments to get to.  Today i saw the head and neck department and within, the audiology department.

My hearing is apparently just fine…… even though on the left side i found it ridiculously hard to hear certain tones and felt them more than heard them.  apparently that’s completely normal.

The doctor wanted me to have an MRI but after being stressing about the prospect of that slim magnetic claustrophobia inducing tube i’ve actually been told by the department that no, i cannot have an MRI due to the magnetic implant in my left hand.  The Dr i saw said it wouldnt be a problem at all they can block out the magnetic pulses from certain parts of your body but the superior people in the MRI department have said i have to be kept the hell away from any MRI machines – fuck the fact it can cause thousands of pounds worth of damage, it could rip the magnetic implant out my hand……

The lady who i spoke to was lovely and very helpful.  I have a CT scan on the 26th September and between now and then i have to change as MUCH of my jewellery as is humanly possible to PTFE…… i may do black and green/orange just because i fucking can y’know?  May as well have some fucking fun with it.

Needless to say the last week has not been the greatest, stress and anxiety levels are through the fucking roof (to be expected)…. we still expect to wake up and find it’s some terrible nightmare but we know that’s not going to happen.

We’ve cancelled Christmas.  Only a very close few will be getting a gift from me.

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