This is so Fucking important. And since what I’ll be writing about could be a trigger I’m gonna put the whole thing behind a cut.
I saw that screencap on tumblr and I just had to write.
This is relevant to my mum’s situation and to many other people’s situation.
There is a MASSIVE misconception that when in a relationship consent is already given. This isn’t true.
I don’t care if you’ve been in a relationship a day, a week, a month, a year or twenty five years…. At any point you can revoke consent and say no.
If your partner doesn’t listen, they’re not invoking some relationship right to take what they’re “owed”; they’re committing a crime and that crime is rape.
My mum said no over and over, many times and he didn’t listen. He raped her and not just with his penis but with household objects. She didn’t see this as wrong until after he left and she got thinking. I learned more about my mum’s relationship that I really wanted too ….BUT I’m glad that talking it out with me helped her realise what had happened and what he had done. I’m glad she is now able to get help mentally (and hopefully physically) for what happened.
Marital rape is more common than people think – mainly because the rapist has some pre conceived notion that it’s their right to take what they want.
The victim has a similar pre conceived notion that it’s the right of their partner to take and they’re just doing their husband/wifely duties by letting them take.
The victim often stays quiet because they dont realise that it’s rape or abuse until many years after.
It’s ingrained in certain generations that (usually the husband) has a right to sex and has a right to take it.
I also completely understand that women rape too (and anyone who says women can’t rape is ignorant as fuck), it’s less heard of because the men (and women) who are raped by women feel ashamed.
Anyone who is raped feels ashamed, dirty, used, worthless and many other things. And this contributes to them not coming forward also.
Note: I know many, many men and women lie about being raped and this is also why those who aren’t lying don’t come forward because they feel like they aren’t going to be believed and taken seriously.
My point is, whether you’re in a relationship with the person who rapes you or it’s a random person on a night out …. They should be prosecuted fully. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk, if you’re high, if you’re in booty shorts or the shortest skirt in history. I dint care if you walk around Fucking naked…. Nobody is “asking” to be raped, nobody should “expect” to be raped if they dress a certain way. Nobody ever deserves to be raped.
Be brave. There is support out there for you I promise.
Note: and this is also really important….. I dont care if you’re in the porn industry. Rape is rape. Just because someone does porn doesn’t mean they’re asking for it or should expect it. No. It’s still rape and I stand by all the porn actors coming forward about being raped.
This blog kinda went off on a tangeant but I think I’ve said everything I wanna say, I’m pretty sure I’ve got my point across.