The time has come…. And I hate that so much.  I at least out did the doctor’s original estimate which was wheelchair before 30.

I’ve now got to the point where walking into town or going to Peterborough is almost out the question because I’m in constant pain.

The NHS won’t help me out because as far as they’re concerned all I need to do is lose weight.  As if doing that is going to make all my problems disappear magically.   If only that were true.

I get told to “work through the pain”…. How am I supposed to do that when the pain doesn’t go? How am I supposed to do that when the pain is so bad that I break down in tears, unable to move?

Simply put, I can’t.

The reason I want a wheelchair instead of a motorised scooter is because this way I’ll get actual exercise of some form. It will help me. 

The chair will only be used for long distance stuffs not the short stuff.  The problem is that finding one with an affordable price that will take weight greater than 19 stone (because I fluctuate between 19 and 21 stones) is almost impossible – if anyone has any links or anything that could help I’d be really appreciative.

I hate the fact that I need it.  I hate that I have to rely on another mobility aid to get me around. 

I’m fucking 30…. Not 90… Yet I feel like my body is 90.  I should be going out and having fun, dancing the night away, drinking with friends, working a nice job of some sort…. Not living in my pyjamas,  curled under a blanket needing a wheelchair to do distance travel. 

I feel like a burden. No joke, I actually do feel like a burden.

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