Looking back, i don’t think I’ve ever actually been at peace with myself. There was always something i wanted to change, something i didn’t like. I felt a need to change… Something. Anything.
As i sit here on this sunny Sunday morning; its almost 10am now… I had an epiphany of sorts. For the first time in years, i don’t want to change my hair colour to something bright. I’ve not dyed my hair (bright) since before i shaved it for charity – i’ve actually dyed it a natural black to cover my growing amount of grey (stress is a bitch) and I’m more than happy to just leave it to grow.
I was gonna keep it short but that takes so much up keep because my hair is naturally curly and a tad frizzy… If i just leave it to grow i can do so much with it.
I got a new piercing the other day and decided to remove an older one for something new. There was a time when i wouldn’t remove any piercing without a lot of hoo-haa first.
I’m comfortable with my body, sure there’s things i would like to improve on and i’m sure in time i will do. It takes time to change and small steps lead to big ones. I’ll never be 100% healthy but even 50% would be great.
I’m doing my very best to remain positive and spread that positivity to others. When i was younger it was a learned behaviour that to make yourself feel better you have to put someone else down. Over the last five years – that’s changed. I don’t need to put someone down to feel good about me… In fact the more i raise people up the better i feel spiritually about myself. The better i make others feel…. The better i feel in general.
For the first time in my life…. I feel at peace with myself and it’s a big deal. I feel like i can pretty much deal with anything, i’ve got patience. I’m ready for whatever my life throws at me because i know i can deal with it.
I know it wont be easy by any stretch, but nothing worth it is ever easy. It doesn’t get handed to us, we have to work to get it. Whether that work is physical or mental.