Monthly Archives: September 2016

My liver and my ED.

I have no idea where this one is gonna go and I have no “plan” to be able to keep it in any order so…. You’ll just have to bare with me….

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I was at the liver specialist today because, well my liver is gonna fail if I don’t make changes to my life. I have NAFLD (non alcoholic fatty liver disease) and my blood test sheet said something about cirrohcis …. Which is always fun…

The exact words used by the Dr (who was a cross between an asshat and a nice guy…) were “lose weight or your liver will fail soon and you’ll die.” 

There’s a very thin line between a working liver and failing…. I’m tap dancing on that line.

I totally get why he said it, and truth is I KNOW I have to lose weight, I’ve been trying for two years. I have lost a little as I’m now 20st 7lbs…. I was 21st 4lbs. I’ve also lost an inch in height which annoyed me.

The problem with me and dieting… Or in this case a complete change of lifestyle is that I’ve battled Eating Disorders since I was 10… And I know by doing this I’m risking slipping back into old ways which, could happen very easily with me.  I have an addictive personality and once I get on something…. I don’t let go.  I don’t do things by half.  

So now, there’s gonna be a fight between my liver and my ED… And I don’t know which one will win.  The damage to my liver can’t actually be reversed; I can only stop it from getting worse…. Which the Dr said can’t happen without it failing at this point.  

I’ve also got to stop smoking. Insert hysterical laughter here. That I will work on, once I’ve started losing weight. At the very least, I’ll cut the fuck down. 

So here I am… Facing my own mortality at 30 unless I make some big changes.  The horrible thing is he didn’t offer me any help.  I have to go to my own GP for that.  I’m gonna stock up on yoghurt, slim fast and weight watchers.   

I can’t have wheat and gluten, anything high protein makes me violently sick (projectile vomit for about 10 feet) – which means eggs, quorn mince and stuff like that is out.  I can’t eat nuts (allergy), only fish I eat is tuna (and not tuna steak either), I eat a lot of chicken, rice, pasta, fries are oven done. I rarely eats crisps or chocolate any more cuz it makes me feel sick.   

From what I’m reading I can eat as much veg as I want, not too much fruit cuz of the sugar, gotta try and stay away from potatoes and rely on lentils, pasta, fish, lean red meat, chicken. Stay away from the processed stuff and cheese.  All my drinks have to be sugar free or low sugar. 

There’s so much I need to buy and the sad thing is, it won’t be cheap – it never is…. But I won’t start on that right now.

I choose to live…. No matter how I do it. I choose to live. 

The War on …. NIPPLES

Today has been quite the eye opener for me; I know the war on [female] nipples has been waging for quite a while across Facebook and Instagram… Not so much on twitter as long as your tweets are protected… But I guess I had kidded myself that it really wasn’t that bad and maybe… Just maybe, we had made a little progress.  Boy was I wrong.
TW; rape, violence, animal cruelty.
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I opened my Facebook today to check out the goings on and what-not and am greeted by four posts from various animal rights pages containing graphic videos and images of animal cruelty. The video auto played and I will not ever get those sounds or images out of my head. 

Just so you can get an idea (skip past the italicised text to skip the description)

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A [live] dog was hung from a tree by its neck, set on fire and beaten. I cannot actually describe the sounds the poor animal was making but they will be engrained on my brain forevermore.  The pictures were of skinned animals, Fox hunts, A butcher doing his job, A slaughter house.

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I checked out each page these came from.and found more of the same; due to the graphic nature (and trust me I left out A LOT in that little description) I reported the pages and the posts.  I was 100% sure that they violated t&c of Facebook.

I was horribly mistaken.  What does this have to do with nipples? I’m getting there, please bare with me… (No pun intended).

I spend a lot of today researching and looking through pages, the contents of which I need bleach to eradicate from my brain, finding that not one of them violated the t&c.  

So I posted a picture of a nipple. Was it male or female? Who knows? It took exactly four minutes for it to be reported and taken down for nudity and sexual content.

I reposted. More of the same.

Instagram is very similar – they DO remove animal cruelty and some nudity and sexual content but only if the page is public. 

Over the course of today I found that across Instagram and Facebook you are totally allowed to comment about, talk about, discuss and in some cases threaten the following … (But not limited to..)

  • Sexual abuse/threats of sexual violence.
  • Animal cruelty incl explicit pictures and videos, groups & pages.
  • You can be as racist as you like.
  • Pledge allegiance to Hitler/Neo Nazis/White Supremacists/Trump.
  • Pledge allegiance to the KKK.
  • Sympathise with rapists.
  • Post pictures of [graphic] self harm.
  • Join the Westboro Baptist Church.
  • Join a cult.
  • Praise Satan.
  • Be underage flashing flesh and talking sexually with older men/women.
  • Openly post about what drugs you have taken.
  • Talk about crimes you have committed. 
  • Body shame.
  • Be sexist.
  • Be homophobic.
  • Catfish/steal an identity.

However….all of these break t&c, and over the space of the day I’ve talked to many who have reported posts with all these subjects including hate speech and threats of violence.  Not one of the posts were removed and I myself had a four hour “soft ban” on my Facebook where I couldn’t reply to anything /post anything for abusing the report function on posts and posting sexually suggestive pictures I.E. the nipple. Oh you also can’t post any uncencored pictures of breast feeding as that is also seen as sexually suggestive content.

I read an awesome comment on tumblr at the weekend and for the life of me I cannot find it now… “Surely it is men’s nipples that are sexually suggestive as their only function is sexual arousal, whereas a female’s nipples, first and foremost, are used to feed her child and are a sex organ second?”

The whole “war on female nipples” or “nipplegate” is just the sexualization of a female body part that is primarily used to feed our young and only secondary are they a sex organ.  The fact that breastfeeding is seen as sexually suggestive disgusts me. There is nothing sexual about a mother nourishing her child… There’s also nothing more natural.

So you go ahead Facebook and Instagram… Continue to let people be racist/homophobic, let them bully, let them post vulgar and graphic content including dick pics, self harm, animal cruelty etc… 

But beware people…

Don’t EVER post a nipple or the world will collapse in on itself… Because obviously it’s the female nipple that is the root of all evil.