So I had to take deep breaths after seeing a recent meme on Facebook. By now I’m pretty sure most people (unless you’re very lucky) have seen the meme with a guy throwing a hot dog (or about too) through an open door, pasted over a woman with her legs spread… (I’ll put it after the cut….)
Note; for the sake of this blog when I say “Women” I am referring to women born genetically female with a vagina.
See why I put it after the cut? The reposts are usually accompanied by comments such as “My ex!”…
OK here is the thing… That. Is. Not. How. Vaginas. Work.
I am surprised and equally horrified about the amount of people, women included, that actually have no clue how the Vagina works. So I’m gonna give you a quick lesson that you obviously never damned well got at school in sex-ed.
1. Popping The Cherry.
Most people believe that the first time a woman has sex her “cherry” AKA her hymen, breaks/gets popped.
This is simply not true.
This is what happens; imagine a piece of latex (like a balloon) stretched over a piece of pipe (see how simple I’m keeping it?) However it doesn’t cover the end of the pipe completely. That’s the hymen.
When a woman has sex* for the first time the hymen simply gets stretched/pushed aside. Yes it can be a little uncomfortable** and yes it can cause a little bleeding – both are normal. No the hymen wasn’t broken …. It was stretched, this also means that if a woman isn’t penetrated for a while the hymen can go back to its previous state.
* The hymen can also be stretched by use of tampons, horse riding etc. It is not by any means a way of telling if a woman is a virgin.
** See point 2.
2. Being Tight.
The amount of “men”, and I do use this term lightly, who comment about how “tight” their girlfriend/date/bed buddy is really makes me face palm.
If she is tight enough that you have problems inserting your penis, you haven’t partaken in enough foreplay for her.
Yes, she should be “wet”. That’s normal when we’re aroused. That’s what is supposed to happen. However if she is still “tight” that means she is tense; not relaxed. This can be for a number of reasons and highly suggest full communication with your partner.
If your partner is relaxed and the “tightness” comes in waves..
A) make sure you aren’t thrusting too deep/hard and this making your partner uncomfortable…
B) the vaginal canal naturally contracts and releases during sexual intercourse also. It’s part of a woman’s arousal.
On this subject, when a woman hasn’t had sex before foreplay is a BIG DEAL. It’s needed. She needs to be relaxed and comfortable or her first time will be very painful; not just uncomfortable for a few seconds as her hymen stretches and her Vagina becomes comfortable with a penis being inside it.
In short; foreplay is key and shouldn’t be rushed.
3a. Being Loose.
A vagina stretches to accommodate penis of varying sizes (Hint; foreplay helps A LOT)… And it also stretches to allow a baby to pass through it.
During arousal the vagina will expand and elongate. The average* non aroused vagina is 4-6 inches deep from opening to cervix; when aroused the cervix and uterus ascend too allow the vaginal passage to elongate by two thirds.
Now we have that sorted….
Whether a woman chooses to have sex with many different men or just one man on a regular basis – or even uses a range of penetrative sex toys – their Vagina does NOT suddenly turn into a cave.
A woman can have sex with 100 different men (or more if we talk about the adult industry) and her Vagina will not be a “meat tent”* (disgusting term). It will not be like that damned meme.
The same way a woman who only has sex with one man regularly during her life time will also not look like that meme.*
Women do tend to do pelvic floor exercises and you won’t even know they’re doing them. They’re the same exercises new mothers do to help their Vagina back into “pre-birth shape” and also help women with stress incontinence keep control of their bladder better.
* Some women have larger vaginal canals, some have smaller. The same way the vaginal opening varies in size also.
3b. The head-in-a-vagina video.
One question that was brought up a lot is about a viral porn video in which a man inserts his head into a vagina. “Surely she’s the definition of loose!”
It’s actually simple…
A) Vaginal training (like anal training) is a thing.
B) A BABY COMES OUT OF THERE! Yes there is enough space to fit a fist (or two) and even a head …. Because it stretches to accommodate a baby passing through.
4. Squirting & Excessive wetness.
Ah squirting; the holy grail. Or so, many people say. Many others believe it to be disgusting or are simply creeped out by it.
A) contrary to popular belief, not ALL women squirt. Fellas please don’t be offended by that, it’s just how it is. Some women can, others can’t.
B) yes when a woman does ejaculate, it comes from the urethra just like a man’s does. No that doesn’t mean it’s urine.
C) don’t believe all the porn you may have seen – a lot of ladies in porn fill themselves with water and hold it in their Vagina until they have to “let it go”. When a woman ejaculates it exits through the urethra not the vagina. Also in porn, if she is “squirting across the room” seemingly under pressure 90% of the time, that is urine.
Yes, it feels amazing – however for some women it can be too intense just the same way for a lot of men stimulation of the prostate is too intense.
Women. Get. Wet – Everyone woman is different, some need a little help from lubrication such as KY etc, others need no help and produce a lot of their own lubrication. It’s normal. It’s not disgusting. Grow up.
5. Misc notes.
Go forth and have sex with as many people as you like – just stay safe. There’s no reason to put your health at risk. I’m not down with slut shaming so go forth and enjoy life*.
If anything in your sexual health changes go get checked out at a clinic/doctor. There’s no reason you should be embarrassed because I can guarantee they have seen everything and worse, before.
Just because you’re “legally old enough” to have sex, doesn’t mean you have too. Never ever feel pressured into having sex. Never been afraid to tell someone no. Your body, your choice – always remember that.
* I’m also not down with cheaters…. If you have an “open relationship” or are swingers and it works for you both, great…. Just don’t go cheat when you’re in a monogamous relationship. If you wanna have sex with other people, you need to talk to your partner.