I’ve done a similar blog about this earlier this year however it keeps coming around so I feel I need to make this point…. Again.
Note: I’m not censoring names. Fuck y’all.
I’ve also had a large section of this saved in my drafts for a good two weeks.
Body Positivity:- movement stemming originally from the fat acceptance and positivity movement. Over time it’s message changed to encompass all bodies. All bodies are good bodies. All bodies are beautiful.
- Doing what is right for your own body, not anyone elses.
- Not judging anyone elses bodily choices.
- Accepting all body sizes from Size Triple Zero to a 7XL +.
- Working for plus size body acceptance. Fat is not a bad word and “fat clothes” should be available in regular stores with all the other clothing for “regular” sizes.
- Not judging or shaming anyone.
This is what I was told in a crash-course conversation many years ago by a group of plus size ladies.
Fat Acceptance and Positivity:- aiming for retailers, media and general public to just accept fat people and stop telling them they “must” lose weight and to just treat them like every other member of society not second class citizens.
It’s now also part of Body Positivity movements. All encompassing.
I get this. Every word. I have been (at my largest) a UK size 26. I know what it feels like to be looked at like you’re disgusting and don’t deserve nice things; asking in store for the plus size line to either be told,
- It’s over in the back corner. (Where it’s dark and hidden away so nobody can see you! Oh and its all boring and frumpy, no nice things for you!!) Also it’ll cost you extra…. More material y’know?!
- Oooh… We don’t have one in store. It’s all online. (Through various links and you can’t try it on first.) Also you’re gonna pay extra and we don’t refund postage cost.
- A what now? Go to a fat person shop. Away with you.
Fat Positivity:- originally fat acceptance and positivity. “Marketed” as body positivity 2.0 however as soon as there is ANY talk of intentional weight loss you’re reprimanded and told to keep it away from their “safe space”. They say its needed because of people with eating disorders…
However I have yet to have anyone with e.d. or d.e. be able to explain that thinking to me… I’ve asked a few and they’re rather confused. (Also note how nothing else from my response was mentioned?)
“I’m a recovering anorexic and bulemic… For me and my friends who support each other, weight loss talk is not a trigger. Talk of weight gain, “problem areas” and such is. Even when we weren’t in recovery it was talk of weight gain.” – R/22.
“I am an active binge/purger and I don’t need a “safe space” from weight loss or gain talk… I myself don’t have an issue with my appearance… This is just how I deal with depression.” – M/31.
“I can understand why some who may not be in recovery feel they need a safe space away from that kind of talk… However the body positivity community on a whole can’t give that. It’s just not possible without ostrascising an entire section of the same community. It’s why we have our own support networks and we know when to step back and use them. I don’t know why, predominantly larger men and women, are trying to speak up for us when we can do it ourselves?” – C/47.
- These are the only name’s I’m censoring as they fear backlash from the community.
And yes I have badly disordered eating. I battled anorexia from the age of 8 onwards, only starting to recover aged 18/19.
I’m now 31 and still struggle in times of stress and anxiety.
While I admit that looking for congratulatory comments on your looks after weight loss is a no-no… Congratulatory comments on your hard work is completely different – weight loss is not easy.
I’m also extremely sick and tired about the negative conversation surrounding the phrase “for health reasons”. It has been, in the past, waaaay over used by fat-phobic doctors, nurses, specialists and the public.
However, from my own experience I know that sometimes it is the truth. Was my weight the cause of my health issues? No. Was my weight now causing add on problems to my health issues? Yes.
It doesn’t matter how much you try and explain this to radicals they will still insist that you’re just conforming to societal standards and are part of the problem.
It’s been used so much as an excuse that now, they just don’t believe it.
Here is my big issue: if you shun people and start yelling at people about safe spaces when they mention intentional weight loss in any way then you’re making yourself out to be a special snowflake… And you’re not. Even people with e.d. say that the BoPo community is both amazing but also a giant bug-bare because of a small selection of radicals who can’t be described as BoPo.
I’m also not saying fat positivity and acceptance is a bad thing. It’s a great thing. What isn’t great is un/intentionally making people feel shamed for doing what is right for their own body.
Noone is saying you have to do it too….just accept that body positivity is different for each body.
Some people lose weight, others gain it… Whether it’s intentional or not doesn’t matter – they should still be supported and not shunned or shouted at.
This is the reason people laugh at the body posi community… Or don’t take us seriously. The radicalised sect is slowly taking over and turning it into tumblr feminism; always offended or pissed off at something.
“body terrorism”…. Telling someone what they should or shouldnt do with their body. You dont have to give congrats btw…. Just keep scrolling. I see bopo pages posting before and after…. Not one of them was asking for congratulations. Just recognition that they were working hard to do positive things for THEIR body. There was no advertising of diet plans or detox teas or shakes, not even a number tbf. Just two dates.
In short… Get the fuck over yourself!
P.S. not once have I ever attacked your appearance. I genuinely think you’re a beautiful lady… Just a shame your attitude does’t match. That last comment just shows what kind of person you are.
I am fucking fabulous, I look amazing and I will continue to get down with my bad self!
In other words; fuck you! 🖕